yes that pizza was good.....
in that class, person B's best friends, persons C, D, and E (E doesn't pertain to this story but there is a person E) are also in your class and person C sits in front of you, person B next to you, and person D diagonally from you, and all these people are sort of in a special group, cant think of the word.
ok so the notebook's out. you open it to a random (blank) page and start writing down just about anything that comes into your head, including anything about persons B, C, and D even tho they are not really true at all, you're just really pissed and blowing off steam. well turns out that as you're concentrating on ranting, person C happens to look behind her and see that you're writing alot of stuff really fast and starts to read what you have written, including the parts about her, without you knowing in the least bit.
you look up and close your notebook, only noticing that person C is looking at you and you dont think they saw what you wrote.
(must pause to add that when persons B, C, and D are talking together, they dont acknowledge your existance much, and you might converse with them for less than half a minute each during the class. in this particular case, you try to say something to person D, but get no response and because you're so mad at the moment you just decide not to say much else because they all must be ignoring you for a reason that you are unaware of)
so class continues, and out of the blue, person C tries to talk to you alot more than usual, and at the time you wonder why she's doing this. class ends and you go to your locker and then proceed to your next class. you run into person A again and say "hey [person A] did [person B] say somethink like [you're] annoying or something?" and person A responds "yeah, along those lines" and you continue towards class, feeling bad that all person B said was you're annoying and that you got so mad for just about nothing.
well, persons C and D happen to be in that next class. as you're waiting for class to start (sitting on the ledge near the door of the classroom) person D randomly says something like "sorry i didnt say anything when you tried to talk to me in english, [person B] was poking me in the back" and she was preoccupied or something, you cant remember the words exactly. you shrugg it off with an "s'ok" kind of response.
it dawns on you then that person C must have read your ranting in your notebook while you were writing it, and thats why she was looking at you when you closed the book. person C must have taken all of it seriously and told persons B and D about it, at least you know for sure she told person D (see previous para.)
you start feeling really bad about what you wrote, because none of that stuff was intended for anyone else to see, and none of it was really true either, just ranting. you sort of avoid them during class (although all we did in class was silently look at us history pictures and weren't allowed to talk) and then speed up to your locker afterwards and go home (that was the last class, 7th hour)
after that you think about it constantly, wondering if they took all the writing seriously, and how to find out if they did, and if they all know about it then how should you convince them that it was written in anger???
because you know that persons B, C, D, and E are all on DeviantArt, you decide to post all of this on your journal instead of trying to explain it to them on a mail or something.
hopefully, persons B, C, and D will read these entries and get the message you're trying to put across, because you really want to stay friends with them and you feel pretty left out when all of them are together and sort of like you are inferior to each of them...you don't know if they even realize they are doing this and you don't want to come across as mean so you never mention anything about it to them, trying to stay friends with them, which is all you ever wanted in the first place...
to be friends with them.
please read this, persons B, C, and D, you know who you are, and realize that none of the stuff written was meant 1) for anyone to read, but i do forgive you for that if that was the case, and 2) was all written in anger, rage, and upsetness.
thanks
p.s. person B, i'll stop doing that laugh, if that was it. i promise
100!!!
